


On Our Terms

by GoatMyBoat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Homophobic Language, Hurt, I kinda wish I made this happier smh, Lots of Hurt, M/M, au where being gay isn't accepted and is punishable, it actually hurt to write this, just know I tried, sorry if it's not that good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28024809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoatMyBoat/pseuds/GoatMyBoat
Summary: Instead of thinking up new ways to fight against the titans, everyone was wrapped up in the so-called 'scandal' of Eren and Armin's relationship. But not in a good way. Unfortunately for them, the news of them being gay wasn't taken as well by everyone else as it was by their friends.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	On Our Terms

In a world that was constantly harassed by beings like human-eating titans, Armin Artlert found it almost humorous that these people cared more about his personal life than ways to prevent more deaths.

He could feel the spectators' eyes on him as he and Eren Jaeger stood publicly accused in the middle of town, their gasps and mutters of disapproval reminding him that this was real. Looking up to his partner in crime, he was met with scared, apologetic eyes that bore through him. He couldn’t remember a time he had ever seen his best friend like this. This was definitely real. And there was no room for denial with the MPs looking down on them like that.

Turning his gaze to the crowd, he could see Mikasa, Jean, Connie, and Sasha staring back at the two of them. He gave them a small, sad smile and quickly looked away. They didn’t need to see him like this. They didn’t need to know how terrified he was, despite that few second glance giving them a good indication he was on the brink of tears.

“What do you have to say for yourselves!?” one of the MP’s demanded. Armin didn’t recognize him enough to put a name to his face, but he knew he had to be considerably high in his rank to be able to lead this trial. If it could even be called a trial with them not being in a courthouse and with a lack of a jury or lawyers. “How can you defend this!?”

Armin gulped and blinked back his tears. What was he supposed to say? He figured that if he brought up facts no one would believe them or even consider the chance that they might be true. If anyone had simply picked up a science book they would agree with him. 

It felt like he had been here for a week after having only been held here for almost half an hour and a part of him didn’t want to fight his punishment; it would be easier for both of them if they gave into the condescending words and just went with it, even if it meant they would end up dead.

The only thing that changed his mind was Eren’s heavy breathing.

Eren had never been one to think quickly on the spot, to find the right words - or any at all - in times of stress and anger. Armin knew he had to do something if he could. It was only fair to Eren, regardless if the latter was the reason they were in this mess. Taking a shaky breath, he slammed a fist on his chest and one on his back in a salute.

“Sir!” Armin started loudly, his voice cracking from how dry it was and from how emotional he was getting. “It is not my nor Eren’s goal to make others uncomfortable or disgusted by our actions. What we did, we did because we love each other!”

The last part escaped his lips before Armin had any time to think about what he’d say. He heard roars of arguments mixed with the shocked gasps from the surrounding swarms of people, but the one that stood out the most to him was the one that came from right beside him. Eren’s eyes met his own, and he only realized that his own jaw was dropped when he saw his boyfriend’s matching expression.

Even if it was heavily indicated, they had never told each other that they loved each other before so of course it would surprise Eren to hear him say that. But he couldn’t help it. He assumed it was his body telling him that if he was going to die, it would be with nothing kept inside. However, he knew that it wasn’t fair of him to spring that onto Eren last second.

Much to Armin’s surprise, Eren closed his mouth and smiled at him softly. Armin returned the gesture. At least he finally got it out and Eren didn’t shun him for it being too soon. When you could die any day was there really anything that happened too soon? Well, he supposed a few things could be rushed even in these times, but he was happy this wasn’t one of them.

Returning his attention to the angered man ahead of him, he continued. “If you actually look into the science behind it all, homosexuality is normal! It is natural and is there from birth! Nothing can come from nothing, it just takes some time to realize it’s there!”

His voice was drowned out by the outcry of the people, his words no longer reaching anyone’s ears, not even his own. His gaze dropped to the ground. He hated when he was right about things and people, but he supposed it was better to know it was coming than dive headfirst into something blindly. It wasn’t enough to stop him from trying to convince everyone they shouldn’t die for loving each other, though.

Pleasantly enough, however, Mikasa beat him to it by shooting a flare in the air, the sound silencing the people and directing their attention to her. “All of you need to stop this,” she ordered with daggers in her eyes but desperation in her voice. “He is giving you facts and you stop him from talking? What does that say about you? He is literally proving your argument wrong but you refuse to listen to him!”

Armin heard someone mutter something about putting a muzzle on her but that was quickly shut down when her eyes slashed through them, leaving them scared and speechless. He thanked her with a nod and continued when everyone’s eyes landed back on him. 

“In comparison to a heterosexual relationship, there really is no difference!” At the sound of scoffs, he lowered his arms from his salute. “All anyone ever considers is the sexual acts in the relationship but there is so much more than just that! We can still feel and love and just spend the day talking about nothing. There is romance, there are hard times, but there are also reasons to risk the ridicule and penalties - even death - and work it out!”

He was breathing heavily now and his eyes had let a few tears escape throughout his speech, and he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve. Eren had wrapped his arm around him to pull him into a side hug to which, more outbursts of protest were exclaimed. But that arm only tightened around him.

“Why can you all love each other, but we can’t?” Eren asked, finally making his voice heard. “If it’s because we can’t reproduce then fuck off because why would we want to bring more people into this already cramped space!? Our kids could starve alongside the orphans we could just take in instead!” Seeing that he got everyone’s attention, he carried on with significantly more confidence than he started with. “If anything, the more kids you bring into this world, the less food there is for everyone else! So I think it should be you who are killed for loving and killing people!”

This earned him nothing but silence as the crowds thought it over, suddenly willing to consider controversial topics. Connie gave a little cheer for the small amount of progress made, but that was short-lived as Jean hit him upside the head, muttering that now wasn’t the time to be celebrating. Sasha quietly rebutted against Jean, saying that Connie had the right to be happy for his friends, but that was shut down as well.

Armin couldn’t blame Jean for his crudeness, seeing as it wasn’t like there was any real hope of getting out of this. He’d be grateful if he could live in a world where he didn’t have to hide something so precious to him, something that meant everything to him. But for now, his goal was to at least make people more open and considerate for the next time two individuals loved in sin.

“If we stop having kids,” the MP from before spoke up, “then we die out as a people regardless. No one can wait for the elderly to die just to consider having children. Unless you want us to murder the elderly so people can have families.”

“What? Of course not!” Eren denied. “I’m not saying that anyone needs to die, and that should include me and Armin as well. We’re a part of the Scouts for god’s sake! We’re valuable!”

“Yes, and were the Scouts aware of your affair before this?”

“Well-”

“We aren’t having an affair!” Armin corrected in desperation. “We are dating and have been for the past four and a half months! None of you knew because we hid it, and that includes the rest of the Scouts regiment. They found out just now when the rest of you did!”

He didn’t dare look at his friends who were sure to correct him in his lie to save them. He couldn’t bring himself to. Eren’s grip on him tightened, but he knew he understood why he did it and that he would have done the same. Eren then mumbled a quick apology to him to which he shook his head at.

“Don’t be sorry for loving me,” he told him. “I’m not.”

But that apparently gave Eren a different idea as he removed himself from his boyfriend and straightened his posture. “It should only be me that gets punished!” he declared, much to Armin’s horror. “If I didn’t kiss him outside, this would have never happened.” He bowed his head in hopes it would make everyone actually listen to what he was saying. “Please don’t punish him for something I did! That isn’t fair!”

Armin glared at Eren with quivering lips, tears silently streaming down his face. “You idiot! I kissed you back! I liked you kissing me. If you’re a sinner for instigating it, I’m a sinner for giving into my temptation!” He swiped at his eyes when they landed on the MP ahead of him, but the reality of their situation ensured he would have to repeat the process multiple times over. “I’m in love with my boyfriend, Eren Jaeger, and no punishment nor death could ever terminate that fact!”

Mikasa gave him a cautious look as if to ask him if he knew what he was doing. He nodded but that was only half true. He knew that by denying it would lead to torture to extract the information from the pair or death if they continuously refused. This was simply a shortcut that would leave him without as many regrets. What he didn’t know was how Eren would handle all of this. Would he be mad at him for confessing so easily and honestly? Would Eren be okay with how things end up?

His thoughts were interrupted by a member of the crowd - a priest, no less - exclaiming, “That’s what they all say before they are changed. Before they are actually capable of feeling.”

A lot of voices expressed their agreement, but that didn’t deter Armin from his goal. He would open up their minds, even if it was only a fraction of what he wished for. Maybe the others would help him in this.

“No, your methods traumatize them to the point where they don’t see being happy as worth it! They don’t want to endure all that pain again, so they settle for being alive instead of risking living their lives! But I’m not willing to settle. There is so much I want to do with my life and I can’t picture doing any of it without Eren!”

The MP shook his head and clicked his tongue. “I wouldn’t be too worried about that. You’ll end up in the same place soon enough.”

“This is absurd!” Jean bellowed, surprising all of his comrades, having never making his stance on their situation clear until now. “They aren’t bugging anybody with it so just lay off of them and let them live their lives- ungh!” He was cut off when another officer made his way over to him and kneed him in the gut without restraint.

“Jean!” Connie exclaimed. Lifting his gaze to his friend’s oppressor, he narrowed his eyes. “Why the hell would you do that? He didn’t say anything wrong! And Eren and Armin didn’t do anything wrong! Maybe you guys need to be educated on what love is ‘cause I highly doubt any of you heartless monsters have ever experienced it! Maybe you should lead by their example!”

The officer snagged Connie by the collar of his shirt, pulling him up to his eye level with Connie’s toes being the only part of his foot touching the ground. “If you think I will ever follow a faggot for any reason, maybe you should be put out with all the drunk lunatics so you can make friends with others who are as delusional as yourself. And if you ever step to me again, I won’t hesitate to kill you on the spot.”

He threw Connie to the ground and only turned away after he spat on him. Sasha dropped to sit him up and make sure he was okay. After that, her eyes followed the retreating form of the officer.

“You’re a coward!” she bellowed. “All of you are!”

“Somebody shut her up,” the officer said without turning to acknowledge her.

“She’s right, you know,” said Eren. “All of you are too scared to realize that not everyone likes the same thing! If anything, now there are more girls for guys who want them, so you’re welcome for that!”

“You know what you little shit,” the officer mumbled, pivoting on his heel to face Eren.

“Enough of this!” Armin shrieked, stopping everyone in their tracks. “All of this bickering is getting us nowhere! Please try to understand that we are happy together, just like you all are within your relationships. We just want a chance to experience the bliss you all get to in public because it’s ridiculous that we should be scared to!”

Seeing that still nobody was convinced, he resorted to doing something he never imagined he would ever do intentionally. He shuffled so he was now facing his boyfriend. Through his tear-filled vision, he could see the confusion on the latter’s face, and he knew he would have to do this. Lifting his shaky hands to Eren’s face, he pulled it down and closed the distance between their lips.

There were horrified outbursts but when he felt Eren move his lips against his own, he melted into it and started sobbing. He was sure they could both taste his tears, but he didn’t think that was too much of a problem for Eren when he could taste his as well. It didn’t last for very long because Armin wanted it to end on his terms, rather than those of his oppressors.

“D-don’t you see th-that we are just like you!?” he screamed through his wails. “We l-love each other! We do e-everything that y-you d-do, the only thing th-that is different is that both of us are m-men! But th-that’s it!”

“That’s all we need for it to be wrong!” the MP argued. “Love is between a man and a woman! Sodomy is the closest you will ever get!”

“That isn’t true!”

“It is until someone is stupid enough to let you prove that deranged theory! Which will never happen! You will never get enough support for that!”

This was it then, huh? Scanning the crowd, he could see and hear from all the screaming just how unanimous it was for all except those they knew. It really wasn’t fair. But the MP was right; they would never be accepted for how they were in their lifetime. He felt arms snake around his waist, rotating his body to mirror Eren’s. The tears that trickled past Eren’s sad smile was enough to confirm that this was where their story ended. They both knew it and that was fine. He placed his hands on Eren’s chest and returned the smile, content that they could at least have this before their futures were torn from them. 

They shared a kiss before they were ordered to follow the MP to the gallows where their heads would be chopped off in public execution. Their friends fought the demand both verbally and physically but the two in question followed with no more complaint, hand in hand.

Mikasa fought her way over to them. “Why are you following them!?” she demanded, her voice squeaking with the moisture meant for her mouth fought its way out of her eyes as tears. “You idiots, you’ll die! They will kill you!”

Armin pulled her into a hug and the two sobbed together, but soon Eren joined in, and then the others came too, all bawling their eyes out like babies. Who were they to care how the others saw them after what just went down? This was happening way too fast for any of them to properly process it all. The only words that were shared before they pulled away were pleas to reconsider fighting the system, but they shook their heads.

“Why!?” Jean bellowed, violently shaking Eren by his shoulders. “Why are you now giving up!? After everything you’ve been through! Why now!?”

“We can’t fight it,” Eren informed him solemnly, making Jean stop his assault. “Even if we tried fleeing, we’d run out of fuel for our ODM gear and die by them, starvation, or a titan anyways. My titan form won’t help us much with finding enough food to live out there forever.”

Armin nodded. “And this way, it’s on our terms. That’s the only thing we can get from this.”

“But you guys are way too young!” Mikasa cut in. “You have your whole future ahead of you! You can’t just throw that away, you morons!” 

Eren scoffed. “What kind of future is barely surviving just to die a little while after?”

“What about seeing the world!?”

“That only works if you have everything needed to do it. We would never have enough stuff to last us forever! It wouldn’t be worth the hassle of fighting titans day in and day out!”

Mikasa opened her mouth to debate that but stopped herself when she couldn’t think of an argument. Armin assumed she was starting to stand down because she pulled the two of them back into her shaking arms. “Eren, it’s m-my job to make sure you’re s-safe-”

“I will be, I promise. And you’ve done all that you can. Besides, maybe we’ll meet again and you’ll see f-for yourself. You can even lecture me about how your hair is grey because of me and not because you’re just a really old lady.”

“I’ll make sure to, you d-dumbass,” Mikasa said, letting out an airy laugh. “I love you both so much.”

Armin smiled into Mikasa’s shoulder. He knew neither of them really believed in an afterlife but if it made them feel better about the situation, who was he to deny them that? “We love you too, Mikasa. Thank you for everything.”

“Hey, let’s go!” an officer beckoned, impatiently.

Pulling out of their hug, the two boyfriends hugged the rest of their group before following the officer. 

Eren saw a frown land on Armin’s face and offered his arm for Armin to hold onto as they walked. Noticing the lines of people watching on either side of them, Armin chuckled dryly, causing him to cock his head at him. “What?” he asked.

Armin sighed, exasperated. “In a weird and twisted way, it’s almost like we’re walking down the aisle. You know, at a wedding?” He chuckled again at the thought of it. “I always wondered what it would be like to be married to you, not that we could ever get it legalized.” He darted his eyes to the cobblestone below him. “Stupid, right?” He came to an abrupt stop when Eren’s heels dug into the ground, pulling him back a bit. “Huh? What’s wrong?”

Eren removed himself from his lover and started ripping the fabric at the hem of his shirt, much to Armin’s confusion and horror. Ignoring the questions and the looks from everyone else around him, he ripped a piece off and then did his best to rip it in half. Succeeding in his task, he smiled fondly at the perplexed blonde before lowering himself to one knee. Armin stared down at him with wide eyes when he grabbed his left hand in his right one.

“Wh-what are doing?” Armin sputtered. His eyes flashed to where they were supposed to be heading to find they had all stopped to see what they were doing. That’s when he noticed that everyone else was doing the same thing. Looking back down at Eren, his face flushed. “Y-you’re not-”

“Armin Artlert,” Eren started, caressing his lover’s hand with his thumb. “I have loved you since we were little kids and have only come to love you more with each day that passes. You have always been there when I needed advice, a distraction, and when I needed a friend. You’re beautiful, smart, compassionate and there is no one in this world who could love me like you do or that I could love more.” Armin’s hand trembled in his own and tears continued to race down the blonde’s cheeks, causing his own to slip out as well. “So would you p-please do me the honour of s-s-saying ‘I d-do’, saying that no matter wh-what happens, you will s-stay by my side and continue to love me for better or for worse as m-m-my h-husband?”

Armin choked out a sob but frantically nodded his head. “Y-yes, of course, yes! I mean... I do.”

Eren stood up and shakily tied one of the strains of fabric around Armin’s ring finger in a bow and handed the other one to him. He squeezed his hand and kissed the ‘ring’ before standing back up. “I do.”

Armin nodded and sniffled heavily as his trembling fingers and blurry vision made tying the fabric around Eren’s finger very troublesome. Eren laughed a little when he finally managed to make his own bow and blushed when he kissed his hand. “So, w-we’re husbands now?”

“For now and in death. I love you, Armin Jaeger.”

Armin grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly. “I love you too, Eren. More than anything.”

Eren untangled their hands and placed Armin’s on the inside of his arm. Armin let it happen and placed his other hand on the arm too. “Now, we can walk down the aisle.”

The wedding party followed them to the gallows, and they climbed the platform to get a good view of everyone before they moved onto their new plane of existence as a married couple. To a world where them getting married wasn’t a sin or a crime, but a choice that no one else got to interfere with. A choice that was theirs alone.

They shared one last passionate kiss before the pair was put into pillories with their head and hands secure; Armin on the left, Eren on the right. This was until Connie made his last attempt at being helpful and screamed, “let them hold hands!”. It then became a chant from their other friends, and soon, some of the random people that were discriminating against them earlier had joined in. Reluctantly, the MP nodded and the hand closest to one another was freed for them to hold onto.

Armin smiled to himself. They were starting to change and he was alive to see it.

“Don’t be scared,” Eren told him as potato sacks were being brought over to them. “I’ll be right here with you through it all, okay?”

Armin nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Armin got the last look at his husband that he ever would when a potato sack was placed over his head. Him mourning the memories they would never make as husbands was forgotten when his thumb brushed over the makeshift ring. He felt happy knowing they had spent all that time together with no regrets. Knowing he was dying alongside his husband still so full of love and admiration for each other made him think that it was better to die this way, rather than being married for a million years and growing to hate his lover.

“I love you, Eren,”

“I love you too, Armin.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“I can’t wait, baby.”

And before he knew it, his memories of Eren dissolved into darkness and his grip existed no longer, but when his hand fell, his index finger got caught in the bow on his husband’s left hand. And nobody dared to fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I really hope you liked it!


End file.
